When I satisfy my own desire of some fancy and delightful food, I would regret it somehow later on, a feeling that I ain’t suppose to have that and that I don’t deserve to have that meal. yet…
Though not because of the carbs I’m putting on myself. Instead of the money I have spent to fulfill my “wants”. Somehow It doesn’t feels worth it. Not because the food isn’t satisfying or isn’t mouth watering, but just because I feel the guilt for other people who starves around the corner who could eat like 20 times for the money I’ve spent for “A MEAL”. Even though, it’s not my money which I spent but my parents’, still It feels weird or rather inappropriate to spent such thing.
The same feeling I got for buying my “girly thing” such clothes and stuffs, all the things I can’t resist on buying. I would love to buy some fancies for myself, something that might have cost a lot for somebody else who is more in need than me. Who doesn’t even have some spare of clothes, while I keep on buying things for myself. The guilt I felt every time I count of how much money I have spoiled myself with…
Somehow I thought by myself, how could people ever could build a barrier between what the want and what they need. About what necessary and what is not while this world keep pushing each one of us to have more and never feels satisfy.
There’s always a new trend we have to catch up after all. from gadgets, clothes, fashion, trends, and other important (or not) stuffs.
While I have always have a slight desire to stop spoiling myself and start giving more to those in need, there’s always something that pulls me back, something that somehow tends to push me to look good, to have the brand new stuff, to have what other people have (that I don’t have)
Today I thought for a while, How could people start to build a barrier for themselves, making some difference between what’s “need” and what’s “want”… What line should we make to differ those both things?
How we could ever feel satisfy, when the more we have we tends to have more “need”?
I wish I could pull myself out from those black hole of “spender” and move aside to a brighter side where I could fulfill my wants and share smile for more people around me, rather than my own smile :D
When you lose one shopping chance, It won’t make you poor or make you look bad, but It could just might turn into tens of smile from others :D
Happy First May , and let’s start this “SHARING” month with smile
Live simply and give generously !